I know I miss KTV, but I am afraid of going there for some reasons.
1st, I know nothing about pop songs here now.
2nd, I dont want to sing or listen to those love songs in case I might burst into tears... As u know, those sad songs are so popular...in every season!

When my sister suggested we go to a KTV this afternoon, I rejected that proposal first. But she's expecting to go there for quite q while....thus I said, alright.

She ordered several pop songs and some I should be familiar with as well. These days, I always go out with my sister running some errands--> try to be busy. But I still cried when she sang the song 第九夜. I kept watching/ staring at TV screen and tried to hide my emotion. But this was just a beginning. I found I cant order any song but happier/merrier ones. Every song reminds me the sorrow goodbye.
After a few times of deep breathe and went to bathroom twice, I felt better.

I dont know how long would it take for me to forget him. Or can I really forget?
Sometimes I hate him; sometimes I miss him; sometimes I regret meeting him; sometimes I feel thankful.
Hopefully I will leave everything in my memory after the nineth night, or maybe, I will know better about this afterwards, or...maybe I'll never forget nor forgive my stupidness.
I know I shouldn't take it so serious. just cant help it.

She bought a Dior Fahrenheit before departure. She thought she could at least keep that fragrance, that smell, even though it may drive her mad as she smells that.
Is it the memory worth keeping? She cant find a satisfied answer.

She had cried occasionally on the train, at the airport, on the plane...and might've scared some passengers beside her. A gentleman gave her his whole package of tissue then.

When the plane was landing at the airport, she took a deep breathe of the air and knew that she's home.

It was her first time to that airport and things are so different from those of Europe. She didn't think it's bad but just hasn't got used to these. She even loves the rainny and cold weather better.

1. She slept in a double bed BUT NOW--> on a sofa (this is a special case tho; Taiwanese ppl dont usually do this)
2. She got everything cheaper, much cheaper, but she simply loses her interests of window shopping.
3. The wireless thing of her laptop is misfunction again!
4. The weather in Taiwan is warm/hot; fortunately, according to the weather report, there's a typhoon coming! (well, she hasn't seen real pouring rain for a while...this is definately nothing FUNNY!)
5. She used to stay in a neat flat BUT NOW-->in a messy house with a full fridger too (well well well, this is also a special case; her grandma always tries to tidy her house, but this good will is ALWAYS refused by her mom. Mom said, dont force me to clean the house...I dont want to think about it!)
6. She has no money and a certain degree of freedom; that's why she wants to get a job asap.
7. She doesn't have to cook and tidy her house. Actually, she thinks she loses the motivation of doing those house chores. Is it kinda "back to normal"?
Her family thought she's lazy b4, and she still is after a year:)
8. She needs not to walk but just jump on her scooter.
9. She used to wear a jacket to block the cold, BUT NOW she wears it to block the sun (not to mention the gloves, hats, mask(no veil tho)...)
10. She keeps herself busy thus she wont miss England too bad.
11. She still hates noisy firework released during some religious ceremonies.
12. She thinks she cant fit in the famous/popular Japanese fashion in Taiwan any more.
13. She went to a hair salon and thought she finally found a hairdresser who she will definately go to more than twice. (Everybody should have his/her own hairdresser; she just hadn't found one satisfied.)
14. She's thinking of getting a language partner bcuz she feel panic when hearing ppl speaking Taiwanese and chew 檳榔...

Well... it takes some time to fit in here, she said.

I found a feel of jealous. I envy those happy couples, or those who looks happy.
Im not really unhappy, but I dont think Im a happy person.
At least Im not a happy girl friend.

Anyway, Im leaving.

You are not the worst one but you hurt me worst. Helpless and hopeless are the most terrible feelings to deal with.

I become a sheep...

Im glad I stayed here.

They say Lake District is one of the must go places in UK.
And I finally stand here by the lake.

Lake District is huge, though I just visited Windermere, Ambleside and Grasmere.
If you want to know about those attractions, you could check them out in those travel books and websites. Cuz Im not an attraction person...

Good point! so, what did I see & where did I go?
There are many lake walks, hilltop...for people to experience the nature scene. However, Im kinda lazy and sick thus I dont really have strength to walk walk walk in the muddy road.

Im glad I stay in Ambleside, a lovely town. The hostel I stayed gave me a warm welcome and farewell too. Also, it's on weekdays, there are few people there that I didn't have to share the room and shower with lots of people. They gave me a 7-bed room shared with no one!
The spacious living room became my music room too. I practiced piano playing everyday.

I spent my last day in Windermere. Still, there are many old people, families... Im like an outsider. Im an outsider looking for a restaurent for lunch.
I just wanted to have lunch and hit the road.
Cuz I was ill and it was rainning. I missed Leeds, missed my home.

Actually, it was kinda drizzling, I like it. But, as I mentioned before, Im not an attraction person, I think I relaxed enough. That's why I wanted to go home.

V is a very organised person.
M is very organised too, but in different way...

Sometimes, I feel myself very tiny compared with these people who have clear plans and targets.
Even I do think Im not really a "mess," honestly, Im not too bad. But,...

Maybe they know better about future, but Im the one who keeps avoiding it.
WAKE UP

I was about to upload my pictures in Lake District, and things happened.
1. After installing the software and driver of my NOKIA 7610, I still cannot connect my phone to my laptop.
2. Thus I used Anoop's PC to test my handset and the programmes I installed.
3. Happily, it worked successfully on his PC.
4. I saved those pictures in my portable USB disc and deleted them from his computer.
5. I, again, saved those picx in my laptop and didnt realise they were "shortcuts"...
6. However, when I found out this fact, those picx were deleted by myself already.
7. I....I....cannot speak a word...
-----
be strong, I told myself. At least I have some in my digital camara.
Well, let's upload these.
-----
Although those scenes are quite vivid and clear in my mind, it's shameful that I couldn't share them with you guys.
Damn...
-----
Well, the restaurent I want you to know is [Lucy4]. I lost the picx I took in here, while you can connect onto its website and try to feel what I felt here.
http://www.lucy4.co.uk/
The place I went is Wine Bare & Bistro.

Another interesting pic is 'thought for Tuesdays.'
it was written on a blackboard outside a tearoom.
it said, " it's rather off work and rainning than work and sunny."
I dont remember exactly, but u know what I mean by the saying above=)

So, a novel by Jane Austin, a movie showing some green grass and finally Romeo and Juliet starring Leonardo Di Caprio. And she lands in England.

Huh?

Let's analyse this for a second shall we?

Jane Austin, romantic novels where everything works out pretty well always, the weather is wonderful, the people are friendly (okay, not the villans) and there is no sarcasm. Is it like England?

Green grass... I'll give her that, but grass a reason for choosing a country? Only if the grass meant Marijuana this would make sense and then the country would have to Holland, and not England.

Now, third one is the best. Romeo and Juliet... a Shakespearean play written by some old hag when he couldn't woo his woman, which is a classic, but this movie was made in AMERICA... not England!!! USA not UK, the father nation not the motherland.

And the weather... lets not be nice about this. The weather is SHIT. It rains but doesn't pour... it's cold, but there's hardly any snow.

So well... you tell me, right choice? Aaah well.. smeg head comes to mind... at least she did try some good beer, got exposed to some great british humour and might sometime in her life really go for a proper shakespearean play.

I would say it's not been a waste of time at all... but been a learning experience. At least she might not choose a country thinking that the name sounds nice... ;)

Vincent said he likes it civilised.
I said maybe I was influenced by those movies/ novels I've seen/ read.
I was attracted by those green meadow, castle ruins...and thought I want to go there.
But it's strange that I didn't want to go to USA although Hollywood invades every culture so bad.
The only place I want to go in USA is, maybe, New York.

Till now, the countryside of UK still has the fascinating power (to me). Pleasant!
As to "civilised," I think there are nice people, though the civilisation here is kinda hypocrisy.

Well, even the weather is bad (UK is notorious for this but the weather is not really that bad i think), the people are proud, the living expense is damn high... I still like here.
But I dont like it so much that I want to stay.

I cherish the experiences I've got. And I wont be such a fool. I need to grow up.

why does it seem that every thing, every industry is poor in service?
you need to wait wait wait, and obey the so called rule...

After complaining about banks, travel agent, taxi, ...(what else Im not satisfied with?)
I give you GNER.
Actually the staffs I met before today are nice and friendly.
Is that because they are old gentlemen???
The one I met this time is a mid-age woman who has absolutely no patience. (why? it is supposed a service industry!)

I want to buy one and take it back home.
I've started "marketing research" last week. However, the "perfect" curl tong still hasn't appeared. Well, I want to find a medium size one and can be used in Taiwan... Those curl tongs on the shelf just cannot meet both the conditions.
(sigh)

[film name]
"I know that film! I saw it!...But...I dont know its name."
I tried to remember films' names in English before for... no reason. But I cannot memorise them especially when every film has its Chinese name.
[trailer]
They say trailer should be the best parts in a film. If the trailer wasn't great, the film wouldn't be too good. Though a nice trailer doesn't guarantee an excellent movie.
[wish to see list]
1. the Last Kiss (Oct 20th)
"everyone needs to grow up"<--i love that slogan!

2. the departed (Oct 6th)
the script is origin from a famous HK movie. I should see how they do in Hollywood:)

3. the Holiday (coming soon, ...)
Jude Law, Camaron Diaz, Kate Winslet....and Jack Something (a comedian I think),
How can you resist this cast and the idea of house changing!? hehe

4. Step Up (dont know when it's on...><")
Looks encouraging and fantastic, I mean, the trailer.
I don't know will it be like [save the last dance]...but it should be good.

I mess it up.
I mess my life up almost.

This film opens on Oct 6th.
I should've never expected you'll come up with something we can do.
I wrote this in your schedule book long long ago.
I reminded you by asking whether you have time on Friday, I want to go to the movie.
But we didn't go.
You came home and said we might go later, and then you started to sort out your laptop problem. I understood it's important to you and you must wanted to solve this asap.
The bad weather also detered me. Thus I suggested we were not going anywhere that night.
Since you need to work in the weekend, I said I will go myself.
---
But a movie goer like me would by all means go to a film with myself.
Fortunately it wasn't disappointed me.
---
Fashion industry is no funny thing. The film shows us that Fashion is not as superficial as what we think. Many girls want to enter this industry without thinking about what it really is.
Well, you gotta think it through after you watched this film.
---
[My first job]
The film reminds me the times when I was in my first job. My boss was also harsh.
Work over time is not unusual since everyone in that department does. I wanted to do things right and worked hard too. I had no time to talked with my boy friend and always kept him waiting. And the worse is I thought he should understand.

However, when we said 'I have no choice, this is my job,' do we really have no choice?
Sometimes we are too busy to think of whether I need to work this hard or why I work so hard.
Sometimes we stay home just because we would feel guilty if going out playing.
Sometimes we just hesitate to give. (This is why they went away...if you are always like this)

I didn't want to talk let along complain after work. Further, I had no strength to speak but just relax and got some sleep.
I didn't know what I worked hard for...
---
I always admire those who knows exactly what they want to do, want to be. I know it's not a good thing if I still get confused.
Well, I will figure it out sooooooon, or I would be bothered to death after I go home.
---
Aside from the busy life, dream job, dont forget the one(s) beside you.

1. short temper
This is typical. I mean, most of my friends will have no doubts that I am such a short-tempered bloke. I hate waiting, while I usually keep others waiting:P
I find that this characteristic is not suit for cooking, especially for cooking Chinese dish. Because it needs patience and care to make some kinds of dish, e.g. stew, braise and steam... One of the best solutions is find a movie to watch and wait. (however my laptop is mute now...damn)
2. workholic!?
Well, I wont deny that Im super lazy. But being lazy somewhat makes me feel guilty.
Due to my short temper, I would be kind of hard working in the beginning (and just in the beginning) unless I find something interests me or new motivation.
I cannot sit quietly and peacefully all the time, or I should say, I cannot pretend to be a "lady" for too long. Im tired of this role play already and need some air sooner or later. Although Im like a worker bee, Im not a sport person or gym person. I can walk for a very long distance but I dont like sweating. This may be one reason that I can fake to be ladylike.
Im also confused with this self contradiction@@"
3. good appetit
I easily feel hungry even I dont work a lot. I dont know whether this is a new habit I've formed here in UK. As you know, I cannot stay doing something so long, thus I have to stand up...exercising or cooking. Since I dont really like exercising, I choose to COOK.
Fortunately, I didn't gain weight this year:P
Bon appetit is never a prob.

It's my second Moon Festival in England (yesterday). I didn't really realise it if people didnt tell me. Im not a festival person tho.

I met Pheonix and his housemates in Morrisons yesterday. They were going to have a "hot pot gathering." He is still very Chinese and thinks that the tradition in China is better than that in Taiwan. I dont see that convincing at all. But there's no doubt that I will be happy if China become something!

Anyway, Taiwanese people BBQ in Moon festivals while Ive not experienced this very "Taiwanese" culture until I was in uni. It means nearly nothing to me whether we BBQ or not at this specific moment.


Maybe I just feel nothing!?

After saying "Im going there" for nearly one year, I finally made up my mind to go.

I hope this trip will be good. At least it would be more meaningful than going window shopping, food shopping and worrying about those bank things everyday:P

Well, I am not sure if I should do some research before going. Am I getting lazy or getting too familiar with England? Not really lol

Im not a loner. But I enjoy being alone sometimes.
Many think that going to a movie or travelling alone is incredible/unbelievable, however it is not so difficult for me to do these myself. Moreover, bcuz different people have different taste of film and different habit of travel, which would make it hard to decide (which film to catch, where to go, how to travel...). Well, above things are just some reasons. Sometimes you just cant find the right person/people to go with; you just cant find the right timing to invite people; sometimes, you just want to escape/ sneak away.

A friend told me that I look like a loner and I am independent outside, but I definately soft and girly inside.
I have no question of this description or judgement, but, how would I become what I am now??
Maybe it's a mystery to even my mom (who often thinks I am a strange child).

What am I really like?? If I couldn't find the answer, should I keep asking?

Maybe everyone is somewhat restricted by surrounding things or the situation s/he is in, and thus s/he cannot be himself/herself completely (well, at least 85% of oneself). But how can one be changed bcuz of study or work? This is ridiculous. I would rather buy this: I am like this originally. However, this is also my fault. Im supposed to cheered others instead of being influenced. I was bad-tempered but Im absolutely no character here! Im so sweet and thoughtful that even I myself wonder what's wrong with me!

But, if you couldn't give me what I am looking for or what I need, can I blame you with that? It's just different personalities and life style. And it's not a relationship at all. You know better than I do. I am just blind maybe:)

Damn, I am complaining again!!!

We are all alone like small islands. Just, people need to learn to care about others.
Hope I will find my way:)

It's tricky to identify what's the right thing to do.

Sometimes I know what I should do, while sometimes I couldn't stop what I am thinking and doing (even it may not be what people consider as "the right thing").

For example, I think I shouldn't stay in this flat, but I couldn't resist; I shouldn't expect you to change, but I ignore this.

Sometimes I think I fucked it up... ...

We can enjoy our lives in many ways. But this is not a situation I'd expected.

It's in some way messed up.

There's a decent, caring guy but I let him down. And Im here stuggling with this futureless scenario.

That's why I am stupid.

My mom will definately say so.

well, thank you anyway...

As you know, I've always been wondering about whether I am smart or not.
If I was smart, I would not turn down the one who knows me and treats me nice;
if I was smart, I would know what to do instead of trapping myself...

They say life is about journey; they say you should follow your heart; they say love is inevitible... How to do without regret? Should we listen to what others say?
Nevertheless, one only experiences him/herself through one's entire life...

Finding the right fragrance is not easy and always confused me.
I don't use perfume regularly. I had my first EDT maybe 2 years ago. It's a KENZO.
Believe it or not, it still has at least half bottle left.
I bought Bvlgary green tea fragrance in the airport when I went back from Spain. I like its fresh but I cant say that I love it.

I bought 212-sexy a week or two ago. This is my latest obsession.
I think I like this. But the prob is, will u be loyal to just one fragrance?
The One from D&G is also great!!!

my laptop finally revive tho it's still mute...
but i dont know where the prob is, cuz ive already install the needed driver for my audio card...
---
well, it's been a long time i haven't got on line as well as updated my blog.
BUT i dont remember what to write about those happened during this period...
my emotions and mood are changing, and many things are changed too.
I think i need a new start.