Loop

Campus is alive again. New students flood all around the city. They start party and lots and lots social events. It is like an unlimited/endless loop.

What happened in my journey here?

I wasn't so excited or keen on doing anything. I just followed the flow and did what I have to do. The projects, assignments, meetings, and some "must go" social venues, etc. My study is busy, though I wish I could be busier that I wouldnt have time to deal with relationship. (sigh)

Helga said it's good to have a boy friend "for now." It didnt comfort me. Cuz I knew I am not this type. However, I've lost in this endless loop.

You asked whether I feel being cheated. Of course I do. I am in love with a man who is always busy working and always concern about himself, and what's worse is he has memory lose. What am I supposed to do? seems I will never do enough. (It doesn't matter now)

Vincent said that I never enjoy my life. How can I enjoy my life when I put in my emotions but didn't get enough return? I am always hungry but you seldom feed me.

There are still some guys come to me and ask me out at this moment. (what's wrong!) And I still concern about you. (How sad, how sick I am!?)

I wish we were just friends. You make me feel that I've done things in vain, do u know that?
I dont know how you think and what you want, but you seem reluctent to reveal even a bit.

Maybe you think you've done the right thing. Cuz you can give me nothing. (Exclude your spacious cozy flat.) This is about feeling tho. Everyone wants to be found, but you just care about yourself. Of course, I understand now. If one has £25,000 debt, he will have no time for other chores. (guess I am not even one of the errands)

But but, I am thankful. I still appreciate that I met you here. We still have some fun.
They will stay in my memories.

I should jump out of the miserable loop.

Congratulation. You'll be here for another two years and hopefully will get your phD by then. You will move on your own way and live on yourself. (sometimes I really hate it) But, if this is what you want, then, I should be happy for you.

Thank you anyway. If I would hate you, that's bcuz I love you.