I'm a bit confused about which role I am to you.

When you are busy working, I find myself like a "desperate housewife." Dont know where are you (of course, in the lab, gym, or home), when will you be home, will you call me...

But I dont want to be a pet of you. I dont want you to cuddle me just when you got time. However, when I ask for more, I become a spoiled child.

All these bursted emotions are because of my uncertainty and anxiety...or the insecurity you gave me. But, why would I feel so? Is it because I don't have enough time......

You're going to China for a week. How can I pass this long week?? (sigh)
Even you are not with me most of the time:P
Well, I will be good and I will be fine. I'll be here as an understanding
girlfriend.

Many girls/ women address pink as their favorite color. Tho i didn't adore pink since young. Compared with pink, I like "cold" color such as green, blue ane purple better.

But why do I exploit pink as the background color of my blog? Maybe different colors do have different reflection of one's mood and feeling. As to pink, it reflects my happiness and suffering. My mood is definately PINK.

I go on this site nearly everyday. I hope the saturated pink can make me feel love. Probably it's because I don't get enough from my beloved.

Im thinking of new games to make the relationship more interesting; Im coming up with creative text messages to entertain him; Im asking for a proper date... what can I do? and How can I do?

They said to me "I feel u r suffered a lot," and "I think u should tell him, maybe he's waiting for u to tell him too." Well, can't he feel it? or It's me who take this too serious?

I absolutely "play" hard...

C問我們恩不恩愛，我想在一起的時候是吧?
但是我又問了，恩愛的定義是什麼?

一起的時候，緊靠在一起、牽著彼此的手、賴在沙發上看電視...就很幸福。

昨天我才跟朋友小抱怨說，怎麼現在換成我要耍甜蜜、製造浪漫?為什麼他總是這麼忙?朋友說，phD都這樣啦...在做實驗的時候最討厭被打擾。
也因此，我不曉得什麼時候該打電話、什麼時候能得到回應，只能盡量傳點有創意的簡訊。如C所說，我希望在一起的每分每秒都是快樂的。
能夠什麼都不擔心、很確定。

昨晚肚子有點餓，他做了omlette給我吃。我偷偷拍下他下廚的模樣，還有做好的omlette。忽然想，一起的這段時間，還沒在一起之前，都是他做菜給我吃，弄早餐、沖咖啡。那我動動腦耍浪漫，又有什麼關係呢?

I sent u a postcard in Stansted Airport just before leaving, wishing that u might think of me some time. The postcard might can remind u at least.
The fact is u seemed to receive the card the second day I leave and u sent me a text message.

I try to find how u feel and what u feel, but it seems not easy for me to figure out. This makes me feel sad and painful...
I am sufferring in the happiness u give me. When I think about u, I dont know whether I should be happy or feel sorrow. If this is ur way,... I try to persuade myself by thinking this way. However, even a just met new friend shows more concern of me than u do...

Do u know how happy I was when I received ur text last night??

[beginning]
Daphne and I were supposed to go together. But due to some private reasons, she had to give up this trip... which meant, I had to go ALONE.

I admitted that I was always looking forward to travelling myself. However, I was a bit nervous and anxious. It 's my first time to travel alone after all.
[arrival]
Maybe it's bcuz of getting familiar with travel thing, things just went well. After meeting Raul in London, I took underground and transferred at Tottenahm Hale station to Stansted airport. My flight is at 6:30PM, bad timing tho- -" I would arrive at 9~10PM...and then arrive my hostel at 10ish.

Since Salzburg is safe, I just didn't feel afraid.

The night in Salzburg is very quiet and empty. Maybe just we just arrived tourists will appear on the street:P
Tho the hostel is not difficult to find. I arrived safely.

[hostel]
Daphne booked it for me, but the receptionist couldn't find my name on the list... well~ then I asked if they still have a bed for me. Fortunately, they did. They fitted me in a 6-bed mix-dorm. I dont mind tho. During my stay, I found there are more girls than boys. (the snoring guy is the only one in our room)

People come and go, just me stayed for 5 nights.

I met a nice friendly Austrian girl and her cousin who's living in Thailand. They left on my third day there. Afterwards, our room became an Asian room lived with Taiwanese and Korean girls.

to be continued...

ok, i can do it!

im packing now and will go to Salzburg myself a few hours later....yes!!!

Daphne told me she's not gonna make it. She cannot go to Salzburg with me! After all things settle down (incl. room, flight/train ticket all booked).

Yes, OH MY GOD...

I can go myself, but...well, it'll be an adventure. (wow...anxious, excited, nervous...)

Then, we need to make some adjustment on the room we booked. BUT they dont have a single room for me!!!!!

Which means, I need to start search all over again immediately. and I will leave tomorrow! We both look into the website info and try to solve it. Anyway, Daphne found a room for me---YoHo Hostel. I dont care about is it a dorm, mix dorm or else now.

What an "exciting" journey~~~

God bless me:Q

Oh ya! I successfully add new links and categories of this blog! (see right hand side) Now I got recommended links, my album, and my friends'.

Actually it's just as simple as the instruction says. But it's not very easy for me to change or adjust the CSS code for the first time. Cuz Im not familiar with it and I wasn't interested in doing this before. But, it's good to see I change it successfully!!!! (laugh~)

what an achievement! (blush~)

我怕，我又一下子太依賴感情了。
沒有簡訊，我就害怕。沒有電話，我也害怕。沒有見面，我更害怕。

也許你忙、也許你忘了、也許你怎麼了、
我不想想太多，卻忍不住想太多。

可能，事情根本不是我想的樣子。

u r tooooo busy to answer my request????? i've been calling for 3 days!!!

what the service commitment is that...

I just need the roaming service...

我們不是彼此的，我卻禁不住地浮躁、忍不住地想太多。
我必須很清楚這個事實，不該這麼不安定。
可是我只能攤開雙手，聳著肩問: what can i do?

其實生活就是由這些大大小小的，看似無關緊要的事情組成。
當我們覺得自己生活得很廢，或者生活得很無聊，生活得很沒意義...
但它其實也有它的意義。

生命裡每一天都很重要，可是越重要，我們就越想抓住;越想抓住，就越抓不住。好像我們越想把每一天都活的狠充實很有意義，我們就越辛苦。

能不能，我們放慢腳步，聽聽音樂、看看藍天、枕著綠草，也能很充實有意義呢?其實是可以吧?只不過我們太習慣忙碌，或者說，那種忙碌的生活觀、價值觀。我們羨慕鳥兒能飛翔、羨慕游魚、羨慕吹過的微風...卻無法放過自己。

Today, D told me that she might not go to Salzburg with me.
I try hard to make up my mind going for this trip. Try not to rely on him, or relationship that much. I try to believe that he is different.

I went into town to run some errands like, buy some euro, go shopping, pick up train tickets, and go to Orange shop asking about changing service plan. I did all things above except the last one.

I did go to Orange shop, but the staff also need to call the service centre to change details...and, the line is "very busy." But I really want to use my phone in Austria. I need to text at least.

Cuz Im so in love.

很久沒有用PP Live看電視，其實我也只用過他看了奧斯卡頒獎典禮，李安那一段、惡魔在身邊，還有今天看的東方茱麗葉。

小白推薦我"逆風"這首歌，是東方茱麗葉的主題曲，所以我看到這齣偶像劇也在名單上，我就看了一下。

其中又少不了那些"一起就可以抵抗外力、一起就可以克服一切"的情話。然而，也少不了"這樣的幸福是真的嘛?"的懷疑。

我也很想相信這種甜蜜話語，我卻深深的了解，很多事情不是堅持就可以，不是保持信念就可以。

我想你，我想和你一起，這是一件多麼艱難的任務!?

我也沒有很無所事是吃飽太閒，我正在觀察著新的BLOG。
雖然我看著這所謂的名人代言部落格，大部分都是FANS的留言，目前也沒有什麼很有話題性的新聞在發生，
但是這樣，好像就比較有事情做喔。

>[喜歡]最近，我喜歡上一個人。
>[距離]我家到他家的距離，依我走的速度大約要二十分鐘。走到Burley Park Station，轉Cardigan road，接著要走完長長一條Broudnel Road(圖左，ps.照片是在Jackson，一個小超市前面，往Cardigan Road方向拍的，大概已經是在半條Broudnel Road的位置)。這條路一直會接到Hyde Park的邊界，不知道究竟多長，但我需要走七八分鐘吧!
而後我需要斜斜穿越HydePark，到Belle Vue Road右轉，到達Kelso Road。如果是晚上，我就得繞過公園，以免危險。
這樣的距離其實不近，有時我會開始納悶自己怎麼不跟Lini他們住Kelso Heights...。
[樂在其中]但是我依然甘之如飴，因為我知道我走向哪裡。

>[中繼]長長的Broudnel Road幸好有幾處地標，不至於像是在美國中西部開車，景色好像都沒變過，會讓人懷疑自己到底前進了沒:P
Hyde Park Cinema就是我的中繼站，只要經過它，我就更靠近Mikey一點。
>[去向]我不知道我們會走到哪裡，也不知道能走到哪裡。也許，這不是我該問的問題。我只要知道，我們擁有現在。

Some said I shouldn't; some said just enjoy.
I somewhat just dont wanna think of anything or any potential problems. I can do whatever I want to do, and be whoever I want to be. Or it's because, I just want to...

I consider about others' opinions too much and then, I can't find myself. This is the biggest mistake I've made.

I know we might not go anywhere, the relationship might not go anywhere. But, I couldn't not hold your hand; I couldn't not kiss you; I couldn't not cuddle or hug you; I couldn't not think of you.

Relationship is never secured no matter what premise we've set. People can change in just one night, one sec, one critical point.I am learning not to care so much. I wanna feel the love.

Let me feel the love.

六月底與戴芬妮的倫敦行，在Holland Park狠湊巧地拍出了這樣的照片，當然啦，我稍微用了photoshop修了一下:P很浪漫喔!

so in love.
again.

不知道算是好消息還是壞消息?

來這裡有過幾場小戀愛，但是讓我稱之為熱戀的，只有J。

現在M又給我熱戀的感覺啦!

最近在小玲的網誌玩起了小說接力的遊戲，大家都卯足勁在寫。不時有驚喜劇情發展。可是我跟戴芬妮會不會是最"樂在其中"的呢?或者，這成為我們打拼論文時的少數娛樂、少數可以期待的事情呢?
結果是，我們寫小說的進度似乎比論文還超前、還多量。

我把我的故事或多或少放進了夏和樹的故事，一邊回憶、一邊編織，那些我與他、他、他的畫面，變成了夏和樹的情節。

仔細想想，缺了任何人我都寫不出來吧?因為畫面不夠多，不足以放大成愛情。我有很多火花，卻也僅止於短暫的美麗而已。而不美的片段，被我刻意遺忘。

在回憶的過程中，似乎只剩下美好。也許，就像王家衛說的，”過去的並不一定是最好，而是永遠失落了 我們只能用懷念召喚他們，所以才成為最好。”

如果回憶是一個機制，或者是一條程式，是不是我們被設定了要先回憶快樂?以免已經miserable的生活更加miserable?

said to Daphne that we will get up early this morning. But the truth is, she wakes up at 9:30ish, and I lie in for nearly an hour. That means I start my day at 9:40...

I have very simple breakfast, milk, cereal and bread.

I leave my mobile in my room. Ive used to check if there would be miss call or text when im not in. But, none, there's none!
I guess this is another thing I have to get used to from now on.

One important thing that comes to my mind is to clear my mind! Never think about him, him, or him, but my dissertation.<--this is much more serious.

最近時常想起Jon。
大概是因為世界盃在德國的關係。
大概是因為我現在住的地方曾經離他很近。
當然這並不是我搬到這裡的原因，我根本不知道他住哪。只知道是這一帶。
他大概已經回德國去了，否則就是在蘇格蘭的親戚家。無論何者，都與我無關。
與其說我想念他，不如說是我想念有人作伴的日子。
但是要一個合適的伴，何其困難啊!
拿著Orange Wednesday的2 for 1，卻找不到個人一起看電影。
說說也真是悲哀啊!?
今天在街上遇到了同學，卻不想邀人家看電影。
難道我是缺男人缺瘋了嗎?
也不全是這樣。

關於德國，我就只想到了這個冷冰冰的ID。

在台灣的時候，老媽從我國小就開始嚷嚷著搬家這件事，卻一直到現在，我家仍然位在同一地點。
大學的時候我到嘉義去，後來又住到豐收村。這應該是大部分人經歷過的一種搬家。
來到英國，我好像成了游牧民族。先住在鎮遠表哥家，沒幾天搬到Charles Morris Hall，這是底下有食堂的大學宿舍，住起來還頗有feel~;接著到Montague Burton住了差不多十個月，戴芬妮說這裡像個渡假村，的確，由數棟宿舍圍起來的小社區，中庭還有個草地，under常常在這邊烤肉或踢球。今年暑假我搬到了英國學生區，Burley Park，離學校要走二十幾分鐘，到市區就搭十分鐘的火車。先住了閣樓，現在又搬到了Basement。我房間有個對外的窗戶，所以感覺不像地窖。話說這邊的地下樓不都這樣嘛:)
雖然搬家挺麻煩，但是，好像也就是這麼回事。