Woke up around 9:30. I took a shower to energize, and make me some oat meal complemented with honey nut corn flake and two slices of rustic multigrain (toast). Tesco’s private label, value for money and…healthy!
I think it is good to start a day with healthy and luxuriant breakfast. This somehow recalled me my friends in the Uni. We usually made appointment of breakfast gathering although it sometimes became luncheon.

Before the story

It is not easy to find someone with similar attitude to you. This is another issue addressed in Pride and Prejudice. Sometimes opposite attracted while sometimes people adore the similarities. It’s an old dilemma and contradiction. Tricky, very tricky...

Last night, I saw unconsciously the movie Pride and Prejudice. Because I already know the plot, and most of Jane Austin’s novel are similar in some ways. But I heard the last conversation between Liz and her father, clear and impressive.

I cannot believe if anyone can deserve you.” (Not sure if I listened right) This is what a father told a daughter. I am easily been touched by this kind of plot since you’ve been absent from my life for so long so long.
My mind wandered in the thought for quite a while. If you were here, what would you say to me? It’s embarrassed. I never talk to you about this and can just imagine your reaction. It was a deep regret that I could no longer compensate for.

Sometimes I would suddenly think about you and wonder if you were still here. Just wonder.

I stare vacantly at the late-winter sunlight softly shines. While the freezing wind blows relentlessly. Strange weather condition of England. I couldn’t help wondering how it relates to people’s attitude and personality.

Since he’s been gone, I find many things that make me happy; shopping, gourmet food, and reading. Sometimes, I wonder if it started all over again, would I do the same thing. Definitely, I would say yes without regret.

It is not only a question of philosophy, but the aggregation of one’s experiences that make one choose which way to go. We accepted that we cannot make things change. However, what hurt people deeply are the attitude differences. I understand that it would no longer be the same. But he abandoned me just like I don’t exist. This is what really hurts.

I would rather be an isolated cat, the animal that I always admire, than a stray dog. At least I retained my pride. A person like him isn’t worthy of my tear or anger. I should know that. I have to work harder to glitter.Longer and longer day time suggests that spring is coming.

Strawberry is a special fruit which is not tasty but could inspire your imagination.
Juicy, fruity aroma, red,--->happy, love, luxury...

I try to think of the flavor of strawberry, while there is just the artificial smell I can recall.

Is it because of Valentine’s Day that many brands or shops promote strawberry products proactively? Skincare, ice cream, little product…
When does strawberry relate to love?

Dear there,
Remember that I told you the painting I saw in National Gallery? I search for her story online tonight. Although I haven’t read them all, I already felt miserable. Maybe it’s because I know the ending in advance.
http://www.ladyjanegrey.org/
She couldn’t be herself in her short life. Realizing this, I couldn’t help wondering if we know who we are? Do we really enjoy the way we live?
Every time we talk about life philosophy, we become confused; almost as if we did nothing progress.
We are not nobody. We have to believe that every thing got its pattern. We did this is not because of we don’t know what to do.
I’m heading for the right direction. And I know I can achieve my goal.
You have to trust in yourself as well.

Cheers
Jackie

I am not a very well-organized person.
(>>> while I always try to be.)
However I found that my try-out is in vain every time. Maybe I have the potential of living in chaos!?

I kid you not! I can find something decent in a flea market; I can find appropriate outfit during boxing day/final sale and enjoy the process without getting tired.

That's why I like to go to physical stores
especially book store, traditional market, charity shop..., to hunt for treasures. You would never know what you'll find and there are always surprises.
Btw, I bought a hard back 'Kafka on the shore' for just 5 pounds!!! Cannot believe it! Ha*2
Check it out, man!-->

Be aware that I am not saying that I like mess. Just I can usually dig something out of the mess.
^(^ Actually, it does inspire our creativity, at least...sometimes.

Our story ended in coldness.
I moved here most of my memories of confusion and happiness you gave to me. And wiped out the shock, sorrow and anger.

When people are in an unfamiliar place or studying/working abroad, they tend to be sensitive. Feelings would be magnified.

I learned, and I growed up. As time goes by fast, I have to recover the earlier the better.

Be better, this is what I promise to myself.

Dec. 27th: missing u in Spain
Our excursion in Spain was 'exciting' and 'relaxed'. We tended to think that Spain is much warmer than England. But it was cold! Maybe it was so different from my imagination that I feel it was just as cold as here.
We are tourists, so we have to go sightseeing and cannot let slip any tourist spots. Well at least we went to most of the popular spots like casa milla, sagarada familia...
In short, we roamed through 'Gaudi Route'.
In spite of the scary crime, we had a good time.

While I was in Spain, I miss England, I miss Leeds, I miss you. That's strange. It wasn't like a trip. And I was absent-minded. I did enjoy my holiday. But it would be nicer with u.
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Jan. 3rd: empty
It’s not so cold. In English way, it is pretty warm today. After studying, I went out to meet friends. Yeah! Starbucks again. But it was sad that the machine had been broken that they couldn’t process solo card. That’s fine. I saved a cup of coffee. It’s not necessary though.
Finishing chatting, they suggested to go shopping. Don’t know why I just wasn’t in the mood for shopping. Guess my mom will be quite happy hearing this. That’s right, your daughter is becoming a frugal.
Yet I went to the Body Shop buy the toner, body cleansing gel, and face mask. 3 for 2, good deal. Then I went to Morrisons for essentials.
It seems nobody’s home yet. Empty suddenly bursts out. My whole day is sunk in the atmosphere of ‘don’t know why’ and I acted like a ghost maybe. I can gradually understand why Lulu doesn’t want to have meals alone, doesn't want to come home alone.
It is like but not equal to lonely. We just tend to mix them up. And lose the sense of existence. How can I enjoy life better??
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Jan. 3rd: girl friend
is a tough job
i don't know how to be a girlfriend:~
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Jan. 6th: limited edition
Women are enchanted with this phrase, limited edition.
To address this broadly, it includes not only limited edition in practical, but also in imagination.
Even in the ready-to-wear market in whice clothing are mass produced, as a woman sees there left only one piece on the shelf and it just happens to be her type/taste...
What happens next is GO(PAY) FOR IT.

I must confess...
I bought a Whittard plate, and a MEXX dress. The sales are so charming that I cannot say no, especially when those two are the only left in the shop. Furthermore, they are in appropriate color and exactly my size...

I know I know I know.
Rules of next week:
1.No shopping
2.No recreation (unless it's free)
3.No coffee/ dringking (refer to rule #2)
4.Keep expenditure less than 35 pounds/week

Remember to remind me if needed.
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Jan. 8th: a goodbye ceremony
Goodbye Ceremony,
I wrote about this topic before.
This writing is inspired by our long conversation this evening.

We know that sometimes we really have to say goodbye to a relationship, to our past, to something unpleasant…
although it is hard.

As time goes by, we think we are recovered, however,
do we really feel happy with that? Or just because we ignore the pain?

When we meet someone, or enter a new situation, the wound would sometimes be cured. But sometimes new relationship discloses the past and magnify the sorrow. That’s what annoying.

Most of time, we cannot say ‘goodbye’ because we wish it’s still possible to go back.

Forget about forgive if we just can't. We'll be fine. But,
Do we really need a ceremony to claim our revive?
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Jan. 19th: Sex and the city-a story about love
It is a story about love. Or make it precisely, finding love.

In the sixth season, all 4 leading roles find their happy ending---love, in every tailored type.
Even Samantha falls in love!! haha, I pretty enjoy the story between samantha and jerry:)

"I am a girl looking for real love." when Carrie says so, I can't help crying...
In fact, I cried all night that night. That's why my self description said 'i am not a waterwork, but i ...' yeah that...
I guess she speaks out what most women think and pursue. It is like a fairy tale David (AI) always believes.

I am a girl who believe in love and happiness. Hope this belief makes me stronger...
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Jan. 22nd: who am I to u
Who am I, to u?
I can't help thinking of this question.
Many 'If...then...' sentences poped up from my head.
But the more I think the more I confused myself.
Unless I can make sure....
while the problem is I can not.

Could I ever understand what u r thinking?
I found no answers.
I become passive and passive
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Jan. 23rd: white out my left side
what's wrong with being usual or ordinary?
since I am interested in fashion and shopping, I can't help being a member of common people.
while on the other hand, I wish I am extraordinary.
I wish I can stand for what I think. but the problem is I don't know what I think. or how to think.

As far as I am concerned, you are lucky to meet those people in your life here no matter how u like/dislike them. Because they make you question yourself and try to become better. This also influences me indirectly.

However, we don't have to feel sorry about not appreciating various styles of art, literature, music or something. let alone the feel of inferiority. You have your own interests and you love to do so. That's respect to yourself. And you try to learn something new, that's nice and brave.

I would try to think, love what I am doing, and try to learn from you guys. To make my ordinary life more interesting, at least, make me love my lifel.

I want to live for myself desperately. Although somebody could be a good motivation...
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Jan. 26th: one week indulging
From 20th Jan-25th Jan. I visited Daphne in Edinburgh, back to Leeds, and then went to London.
A bitter crazy traveling:P

I would've thought that only young people would do crazy things like this. But, I did too.
In fact, traveling is exhausting!! But we all need some occasions to relief ourselves, and need incentives to think and feel.

Different places give us new ideas and stimulate our feelings. I was suffered with lacking of passion, or the passion of express my feeling. And I was troubled with finding myself. But I do exist.
Sometimes I would think that I am doing something important and the only thing I have to concern about is 'just do it'. We don't have to think too much or suspect ourselves. Just make the most of it and enjoy what you are doing. This is what make it/life worth.

I explored the modern art gallery and national gallery of scotland when I was in Edinburgh. British museum is another must go sight. I've been there before, so I just looked around and went to visit Lawrance.
It's nice to meet friends in a foreign country. We talked a lot about our school and life. And he accompanied us to china town and tower bridge. It is especially beautiful in the night:)
And MISATO! I can't believe that we ate at misato for 3 days in a roll.....!!!

Karman and I spent lots of time in national gallery in London. I am not that 'arty', but feeling touched something deep inside my mind. Even I can barely appreciate 'art'; I found my existence.

Musical, another arty campaign u got to do in London. We chose Phanton of the opera and was ready to burst into tears. However, we didn't.

The most strange is I was thinking of you along the journey. Strange and confused.

Nov. 18th: do nothing
After endless group meeting in Friday afternoon, I tried to ignore Monica’s suggestion of going shopping (but I still gave her a call). I would rather stay at home do nothing. I walked slowly on my way back to accommodation and found the meadow which was covered with frost this morning seemed like defrost already.

When I entered my room I felt like defrost too. I suddenly realized that the heater I forgot to turn off was keeping warming the room. Dry air and high temperature made me feel sleepy and relax. I shut down the heater, tried to arrange my thought and start writing. It is my interest to write something informal, but I haven’t done in English. I know I am good at this in Chinese.

In Friday afternoon, it is good to listen to Norah Jones or some music that is light and soft; to have a cup of tea or coffee, I like the smell of tea and coffee; to be in a trance, do nothing. This is happiness!
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Nov. 18th: soliloquy
It seems nice but lacks of something.
Something I cannot tell.
What should it be like?
It's hard to explain.
Everything here is fine.
But needs more passion and emotion...
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Nov. 20th: my 80% perfect day
I declined the appointment yesterday, and felt great. In Taiwan, if we said "let's have dinner some time" it means "see you". But if you asked me "when"....that's so difficult to answer. That's why I cannot promise "when".

I went to Starbucks with Devon at noon. It's hardly to study there. And the plan resulted in chatting+a little bit study. But, nice, isn't it?
After a long que, I found one side of "my sofa" was occupied by a couple. I tried to concerntrate on my book but made it a strange scene.

It is dark and cold here after 4:40PM. We went into the freezing wind searching for food. Finally we stopped at the JADE, a Chinese restaurant. The conclusion is that everytime we go to the restaurant, we miss the food in Taiwan:P Anyway, the waiter and waitress are friendly enough to compromise the "exorbitant" price(compared with that in Taiwan). It's a question of feeling.
Lousy food plus nasty staff--->disaster

After dinner, we walked together till the central library. I walked slowly, cuz I don't want to go home. Actually, I am afraid of going back...
I saw the "skyline park" is assembling the moving wheel and carrousel in the millenium square.
Does it have special meaning to arrange a "playground" during X'mas? I don't know but it seems nice:) like fairy tale.

It is a cold and long distance going back. I was walking and singing. I like the feeling of breathing the air and exhaling "smoke". It would be perfect were there a warm hug. 80% perfect anyway!

Oh, my toes became numb with cold by walking in the frigid weather:~ excellent
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Nov. 22nd: little bear
Edward finally gave me this bear! Don't you think it looks like Paul?...........:)
But it's a pity that Ed. kissed it several times before he gave it to me.....-.-"
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Dec. 8th: memory organizing
Skipton /_-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dec. 9th: Trial-recipe
Appreciated by Devon, my new trial

ingredient:
1 onion, butter
2 rosemary+basil+salt+chicken fillet
3 mushroom
4 onion powder+milk
5 black pepper

YAMMY YAMMY YAMMY YAMMY YAMMY YAMMY
YAMMY YAMMY YAMMY YAMMY YAMMY YAMMY
YAMMY YAMMY YAMMY YAMMY YAMMY YAMMY
YAMMY YAMMY YAMMY YAMMY YAMMY YAMMY
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Dec. 10th: relaxing weekend
In order to have a relaxed weekend, I tried hard to finish my work on Thursday night.
Fortuenately, i did it i did it!!!!!

This makes me wanna laugh. hahaha laugh and smile all day.
It's not right to say this but....i am happy.

Though it doesn't last for so long....I searched for Coach and B&B in Madrid all day.......
damn- -" I don't want to see the computer screen><
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Dec. 23rd: choice
After coming back from Spain, ‘reality’ becomes closer and closer. One is the approaching of studying and exams; the other is the ‘decision’. But how can I decide?

I know that I’ve been changed. Is it the environment or the people or else? I guess it was the combination of those above. To be honest, it’s like gambling. I might win or lose. What's interesting is that u’ll never know what the result would be.
I don’t want to take the risk but, do I have choice? It’s just like a question of philosophy: Is it my choice or fate?
If I had second chance, would I do the same thing? When I start to ask ‘what if’ questions, I know the answer is obvious…
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Dec. 27th: so called love
Strangely, I didn't feel annoyed when my neighbor tried to ask me something about my absence these days. He said he cannot reach me. Of course. I didn't put my old sim card in my mobile phone. I suddenly don't mind giving him my new number. Maybe it's becuz of my unreasonalbe happy and relax.
"If u like someone and, meanwhile s/he also likes u. We named the moment 'love'. It is precious bcuz it's so rare." People are always seeking for this moment. Some of them even cannot find love along life time. Mystery or truth? u have to experience it urself. Sarcastically, we seldom notice it when we have it. But don't be afraid of lust, worry, and anxiety. What u can do is cherish and enjoy it.
I admit that sometimes uncertainty annoyed. I blame myself of not having clear purpose. But what can I do? Just "follow ur heart" is not a sufficient answer.

Nov. 6th: I started to write in English.
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Nov. 7th: dessert therapy
People say that dessert can cure depress. I think it really does.
The fact is I am depressed today.
Finishing group meeting, I walked home accompanied by the dark sky and cold air.
Can't believe it! It's just half pass 4:00m and it became freezing suddenly. This made me feel a little bit grievous.
Anyway, I recall how Karman did to make "steam milk," a special Hong Kong dessert. But it just got something different...that's ok. The sweet heals me essentially.
Go on working!!! I can do it!
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Nov. 9th:Elizabeth Town--a warm and romantic journey of memory and love
Different people have different perception.
Due to some personal experiences the film emotionally touched something deep in my mind.

We can experience varieties of lifestage and events in it.
We can also experience life, family and love, and enjoy the beautiful scene of midwest America in the movie.

It somehow reminds me the melody of the old song..."country road~take me home~". Maybe it's bcuz of the relationships among the whole family revealed by the film.

As most hollywood movies do, it shows a common failing of lossing its focus. It tried to address every aspect, but finally ended up in lacking depth.

I cannot describe in depth range, but I think it's not bad to see it.

I still have some ideas about "substitute people," maybe talk about that some other day.
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Nov. 10th: I miss cod fish
Except for the "Fillet o' Fish" I had in London, it's my first time got fish for a meal. Although I don't really like to eat fish, I need to diversify my everyday manu:P

I bought cod fish today, and couldn't help feel excited, even it cost me 3.46pounds...haha.

Bcuz I really miss steamed fish, I tried my first steamed cod fish here.

Exclusive formula:
a little bit(ginger+garlic+salt+basil+basil)*cod fish fillet+a tea spoon of lemon oil+steam=gourmet steamed fish!!!
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Nov. 10th: spine-tingling
As I went out today, one of my neighbers said hello to me. We were walking and talking on my way to school. He invited me to pass by this evening. Honestly I don't want to visit him that bad. But it is just next door...

What truly shocking happened afterward. I tried to forget the appointment but he came to knock the door of my flat. So I went to "visit" him.

I suddenly "smell the rat." I should'nt be here I thought. It's too late to run away:(

After some chat he asked me to be his "friend." And said he feels lonely, something like that. I can only say I am conservative...and push him away.
Cuz he just came to hug me, OH MY GOD!!!

It might bcuz of the culture differences. African people are more open and explicit. They express their feeling directly and want to get response right away.

That's too over and too fast for me to ...for God's sake!

I should've never never talk to strangers
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Nov. 12th: confession
I don't konw how to categorize this article....
Shopping is a kind of prescription, especially for women. Shopping is a habit, but sometimes it becomes an entertainment, interest or even ceremony! It depends on my mood and the occasion.
Seems like I am making excuses for my buying behavior:( I did feel guilty today>"<
Judge it for me, see whether it is a good deal or not!

item 1:
product detail:
-shop name- Tie Rack, sells a wide range of scarves, hats, neckties
-item- see above, 2 scarves.
-material- wool
-price- 2 for 16 pounds (9.99 each)

100%, irresistible, right?
item2:
Detail:
-shop name- ZARA
-product line- children's wear
-price- 39 pounds<--bankrupt
-recommend-
cute, complement with plaid skirt, short trousers, cropped pants
and a wolly hat or beret
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Nov. 13th: just a whim
Recently, I don't know what to cook and feel lost my appetite. But I am good at decorating dishes. I first judge dishes by its look:)
sometimes, colorful item makes me happy and creative.
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Nov. 15th: symptoms
1. can't concerntrate
2. think too much/ worried
3. anxious
4. happy
5. can't stop eating, especially biscuits
6. sleepy
7. excited

diagnose:
i am sick........................................

,

girls@red chilli, Leeds

@Taichung, Taiwan

@Tainan, Taiwan

snapshot@the swan, Leeds

Welcome to my secret garden.

I've always wanted to have one and now it just becomes real. (It's easy. Just click!)
Due to a variety of choices online, I have about 3 or 4 email accounts and at least 2 blogs/ photo album. Like a global company that has many product brands, I have problem of well positioned my blogs.

What a SHAME!!! (<--You might say.)

I have just made the decision:
one blog is for writing in Chinese, my mother tongue;
another is for friends contact;
the other is for public.

This is where I share my ideas, experiences, and interests with you, my 'perfect stranger.'